What Does Being A Christian Mean??

     Well, that is a loaded question. isn't it?? It means so much!! I could write this blog for twenty years and not hit it all....

     But lets start with what it does not mean....it does not mean you will never be hurt again. It dont mean your already strugling relationship will fix itself. It dont mean you will have a surplus of money or food. It does not mean you will not struggle. Being a christian DOES NOT MAKE YOUR LIFE PERFECT!!

     It DOES mean you dont have to go through it alone....God is there. Jesus holds your hand....and when you need to talk he is there....he even answers, and its not audible...(well not always,  like in the church on Sunday I very literally heard a voice. but im not crazy. not like that anyway lol.... but i think that is a very rare thing, but i think everyone has the potential to have that experience...) He will send a sign but you must be watching for it or you will miss it!! Sometimes he bombards you and hits you over the head with the answer....especially if you fight it which i am notorious for!! It means you feel comforted by the feeling of the presence of God and Jesus...

     I keep doing that...God and Jesus...i look at God as a family name, like Smith, God is dad, then there is The Holy Spirit who is kinda like mom then the son, Jesus. They are all God, but they are all different too. I dont know if this is the right way to think of it....i have a hard time with them being one and done, they are clearly separate individuals but the bible also clearly says they are the same also....I think I really need to research this and figure it out. I do not want to get too set in something that is wrong. Ok. give me some time to study it and dont forget i have a life too....so a week maybe and i will post about this topic and what i learn about it.....

   ok see my mind wanders so bad....I get sidetracked so easily. I hope i can hold someones attention....So back to where we were....

  And you do FEEL the presence of God. well. I do. I feel it in my sole! Being a Christian means the way you look at things changes. like, your car wont start and you are LATE to work and you have a meeting with the boss....and you are going to be fired if you cant start your car.....Well of course even Christians are going to get mad and frustrated, hit the steering wheel and probably utter some unchristian like words very loudly....but you take a deep breath and clam down. and you say " thank you god for teaching me patience and for knowing that i shouldnt leave right now. I dont know what you are protecting me from but thank you for not letting me get in that wreck or for protecting me from a mean coworker or for making me available help someone you are going to put in my path because of this, thank you for using me so wonderfully in your great plan!" Ok so that takes practice for most people. I took to it real quick. I was such a "Negative Nancy" and always rushing everywhere...it was very nice to have permission to relax. God has it under control. You wont change anything by being negative and mean and feeling bad...why not TRY to live a more positive life, i gave it a whirl and i love it!! It is wonderful to KNOW that even though my little world feels like its crumbling, everything is fine, it WILL be ok, that is not a free pass either!! nope!! a christian still has to do what he or she has to do. you want to eat. have a place to live? you have to work, your car broke down? you have to call a machanic! your toilet overflowing? you have to clean it up and fix it or call a plumber, its not going to do itself! but if you put in the effort...the HONEST effort, god will see it through....maybe not how you want, in fact i can almost promise it wont be how you want. there will be road blocks you will have to jump through hoops. but God has it under control. dont give up and He wont either!! Its ok to not stress aobut it its ok to not get angry. its ok to get angry also....but you dont have to....i was so angry all the time and i still dont know why...God took that almost imediatly from me...that was HUGE..and its why i KNOW without a doubt that God can fix my angisity...he will make it to where i can be around people....it may be slow going but let me tell you, Sunday, i didnt end up in the hospital or in a dark room in the corner for hours...which would have happended even a week ago....so its going faster that i ever though!!

ok. this is all for now. i am already thinking of another post. i may do it today but it may wait till tomorrow...

if you keep reading this blog you will get more used to my wandering mind....i would apoligize but im not sorry, its me and i thikn i like the me i am becoming....