Time With God

Most people set aside what they call devotional time with God. I set aside what I call devoted time to God. What is the difference? devotional time is a religious observance or worship time. devotional time is spent in church or reading the bible. My devoted time with God is focused more on our relationship.  On learning what being a christian means...i sometimes read the bible during this time but i have set aside a separate time before bed to read the bible. every night. My devoted time is spent reading books about how to shape my life, my thoughts, my actions. My devoted time is spent making plans to glorify Him. My devoted time is spent meditating. Even sometimes just crying...it is not something to be forced or to feel forced. If I have a day that i just feel i dont want to be doing this now i dont. it is not right to force God on anyone even yourself. but i also know if i dont want to there IS A REASON!! somewhere i am sinning or i feel guilty or something is going on in my life and i am afraid of that one on one time with him. I love sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee, and empty chair beside me and just talking to God like He is sitting right there....and He is...but if someone were to come by at that time they would sware i was insane and needed to be locked up. I tell him of the day before and sometimes i get to laughing and have a great time. Some mornings dont go that well. When i decide to read or meditate I often end in tears simply because i always end my time thanking Jesus for the suffering he did for me so i wouldnt have to. It is so powerful so meaningful so awesome I never tire of thinking of it but i always cry so much.
     With my devotional time, what i see as my bible reading time before bed, if i have to force it i do. it is still special but that time is regardless for His word. For me, that cant change. I know if I take my eyes off the prize...being with him forever...for even a moment i will lose the drive to get there....My devoted time is special and unique to Him and I. My devotional time is shared with millions of people every day...I dont know that there is really a difference between the words, but for me the meanings are very different...