Things That Make God Cry...

Ok this is the blog entry I have been thinking of for a while....it has really been in my heart to do this...
It goes with the previous one, what it means to be Christian. This snuck up on me very stealthily, and I didnt even NOTICE until one day i was on face book and a friend, one of my atheist friends, posted a picture. i looked at it and shook my head and thought how sad. then my eyes popped nearly outta my head. I REALLY looked at it. even a week ago i would have been laughing and though it was great. it wasnt BAD, just in bad taste.....so i looked at my life and realized something very SHOCKING!!
 EVERYTHING in my life was changing and i wasnt doing a thing to make it happen, i had already done it and i wasnt going to change that. the things i read are changing the stuff i watch on tv are changing. the things i laugh at are changing....the way i do things are changing. the clothes i think are cute are changing. the very thoughts in my head are changing and most amazingly my feelings are changing.....

I realized something. How can you ask God and Jesus in your life, ask them to work in your life, and do things that make them cry?? everyone sins. its a fact. if a whole day goes by and one person (out of all the billions of ppl here) on earth does not sin i believe that would end the world. it will not happen. but I asked God to come in my life and show me how to live to please him. i told him i wanted to present Him with a person he could be proud of when the time comes...and he is, without my knowledge, he is changing me...he knows that woman falling in the lake is funny to us, but what is she thinking? does God cry for her humiliation? im sure he does, so how can i laugh at it? im not saying its wrong to laugh, you dont loose your sense of humor when you become a christian, but it may change, evolve. for me, I think more of God and what would he think of my reaction to any situation. remember God forgives, he does not expect perfection. what works in my life may not in yours and vice versa...

I told God that i wanted to present a person he would be proud of, and he answered me. not verbally this time, he shows me that he is proud of me. he thinks this in my life may need some tweaking but he is showing me that i only need to be the best me i can be to please him. he even loves my imperfections! he really loves those!! when God works in secrete in my life like that, i know its not that i am doing something wrong, its that there is more i should consider.....im not wrong to laugh at that poor woman, but i should consider her feelings and instead of laughing i should help her...maybe while i am laughing i should help but that is kinda rude i think lol...

i dont know. i know i am looking more at my life and seeing things in my life that has to make God cry. those are things i dont need in my life. even feelings. i have a past. who does not?? i have a seedy past. most people do...i feel bad about my past. God knows that. and it makes him cry because he forgave me. if he can forgive me how can i not forgive myself? right now i am showing God that my past means more to me that his forgiveness. thats not true, but it is what my lack of action shows him. so i am working on forgiving my self for many many many wrongs i have done and that were done to me. i want to show God his forgiveness means more to me than anything, even my own feelings....at least in this one area i want to stop making God cry.