Today was my first Womans Meeting at the church! It was awesome! We did a little with the Bible but mainly today we celebrated a ladys birthday. It was just real nice. there were 13 of us there...I counted at least ten times because I hate that number...a throw back from my atheist days and a bad luck symbol....but I know now that kind of thing has no power in my life anymore...anyway so I know there were 13 of us....Another woman had to leave early to go to her daughter who is making her a grandma! Yeah! New life is so amazing! We talked about a lot of things. They even took an interest in me which kinda shocked me because I am so new...noone really knows me except the ones I go with...But I shouldnt be shocked anymore...they have been great form the first. I still get a little uncomfortable with all the touching and hugging but its really nice to feel cared for. It dont feel forced or put on for a show..it feels real. And its getting better. And my mother in law is still looking out for me...she has been completely amazing! I have known her for years, but I am getting to know her now and shes really cool. And her friends are too. Anyway...she stopped someone form a possible mistake of too soon yet and I am glad she did. Because I am not ready for what could have happened not yet. At the end we prayed. And let me tell you about this...they pray out loud, each one separately and all at the same time...so its like you have ten radios on all on different stations and volumes...we prayed for what felt like a long time, but it was a good time...I was looking around amazed how everyone just flows together...like my ears tuned in to one voice and then the next and the next and they were all praying for the same things not always at the same times but still...And yes, I prayed, but I am a silent praying kind of gal...so far anyway....but they all prayed for my mom which touched my heart. I felt so comfortable there! God is good!! I am thankful I have found this church and these people!
So coming home, my mom in law and her friend who was driving were in front and her friends neighbor was in the back with me. We had such a great time! We laughed the whole way back! We told funny little stories. I felt included which is not easy when you have a group of friends, mom in law and her friend, and i dont know well they each know the friends neighbor but then I am a basic stranger to everyone. I have spent time with mom in law and some with her friend but its different now. before it was based on my spouse, thats how we all knew each other, now its based on God and it feels different it even looks different...So anyway, we are cutting up and I am actually talking and opening up, something of a first, and i catch myself cursing. i said butt but not so nice....i dint even notice until the next sentence oops its kinda hard to shove a word out of someones ear and back in your mouth when you say something wrong...No one said a word or even looked at me odd, but I knew and it bothered me. I did it again twice stopping mid word both times but damage done...still noone said anything or even acted like they noticed....but I did. And I thought I was doing so good with that. But I didnt say nothing too horrible however telling your wife her behind does not look big is the same as stealing in Gods eyes....So now I know I need to protect my mouth better. I wonder how thats going to work....but let me say this..before I could make a sailor blush...I am doing incredibly well but I thought I had it licked. I think I just felt too comfortable with them and reverted back to friendship style that I know...I think I can shape it up. I dont think it will be too difficult either...I think its just my default to go to that type of language. I can unlearn that...It may take time, but its not difficult. Just takes discipline. I wonder if I did this the other day and just didnt notice...I dont think so because I was more watchful and less at home. Today just took my walls down. I hope it stays like this between us all. that would be great! Thank you God for this time in my life!!
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